God’s Guidance Through Our Desire, Design, and Disciplines

by Roger Nix

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. Psalm 84:5

“The way to spiritual wholeness lies in an increasingly faithful response to the One whose purpose shapes our path, whose grace redeems our detours, whose power liberates us from crippling bondages of the prior journey and whose transforming presence meets us at each turn in the road.” – M. Robert Mulholland

Our spiritual life is an unfolding journey. While the Lord promises to guide us as a Good Shepherd, the big question for most of us is – How does His guidance come? We’ve all experienced times in our life where we’ve felt lost and disoriented, or we’re easily distracted and find ourselves repeatedly adrift and off course.

We cannot navigate the seas of our soul and the world around us without help. The ancient mariners of old would look to the heavens and the constellations of stars to orient themselves and find their way home, but where do we look for the guidance we need through each stage and season of life? For spiritual leaders this is especially critical as we often are bringing others along with us on the way.

Like most in ministry, we may have perhaps studied theology and scripture which have become the primary playbook for direction and discernment in our life and ministry. While this is an important foundation and an essential practice, it often is not enough. We still can find ourselves disoriented and a bit lost as to where we are.

How did we get here, and more importantly, how do we find our way out?

The soul’s journey is filled with impasses, dark nights and forks in the road that can often leave us confused and bewildered.

What do we do when what was working for us is no longer working?

We are desperate for the voice of God to guide us, but in truth the landscape of our soul is much more nuanced than we realize and requires a constellation of stars to help us divine the way forward.

Lead me in the reliable ancient path. Psalm 139:24. NET

God’s Guidance Through Our Design

From the inception of our formation, God has given us an internal guidance system that is both reliable and available to each of us. Our unique design is the immutable part of our true selves and is one of the ways God leads us. We have been made on purpose with purpose. This golden thread of design is woven throughout the tapestry of our lives so that no matter where you are or what you do, who you are will emerge time and again. Our unique passions, interests, gifts and nature combine along with our life experiences and skill sets to create a unique life and life purpose. Paying attention to our design, “our frame”, has long been an important practice to help us discern what God is doing in me and through me.

This is what the old quakers would call “letting your life speak”. Life indeed begs the twin questions: Who am I meant to be? and What am I meant to do?

As author Parker Palmer discovered that it is “possible to live a life other than one’s own¹,” so paying attention to our design is one way we learn to live life from the inside out rather than the outside in, so that our lives are not a cheap imitation of someone else’s life, but a priceless original work of art.

This requires an intentional commitment to a growing “self” awareness to what is going on in my soul, my body, my mind and in my heart. God communicates to us in each of these realms and we would be wise to learn how to listen to our life speaking. Paul exhorts us to “have a sound estimation of yourself.” (Romans 12:3) David Benner suggests “There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self, and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God”, which is why we pray along with St. Augustine, “Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee.” This self-knowledge is not the navel gazing, self-introspective kind but rather the soulful practice of contemplation which happens when we are face to face with God. As I sit in the Lord’s presence I become aware of his loving gaze upon me and I can then recognize my essential self in the reflection of His face in whose image and likeness I am made. (Gen 1:26)

Healthy spirituality, then, is a journey of discovery and we are fortunate to live in the age where both psychology and spiritual formation can help us with some good soul cartography and navigation skills. Tools like the Enneagram, Myers Briggs Personality Assessment, and Strengthfinders, to name a few, help us identify how we’re hard-wired. In practices like sabbath, solitude, silence, and journaling, we can quiet the noise of our busy lives and begin to notice the contours of our design and accept the reality of our lives “as it is, not as I would have it²”. Spiritual directors and companions provide the necessary community to affirm and support the transformative work of God and care for our souls along the way. They provide a safe place to verify the raw data we need to make sense of our inner world and chart a course in the right direction. Together these resources, practices and gifts help unearth the unique patterns of our personality that are deeply ingrained in us by God and can help us understand ourselves better, creating a north star toward home. Aligning with our design is a lifelong process of discovery and formation, and this is why we need helpful guides in every season of life who can hold up a mirror to us and ask; How is your life speaking to you now?

God’s Guidance through Our Desire

Philosopher Emmanuel Levinas writes; “the relation to the Infinite is not a knowledge, but a desire” and Augustine proposes that the entire Christian life is nothing less than holy desire. Our desire is a way of knowing ourselves and knowing God.

For much of my life, I had been taught that my desires were not to be trusted and that paying attention to them was a slippery slope that would certainly lead to my destruction and ruin. While it is true that my desires can be disordered and corrupted, (Ephesians 4:22), I’ve discovered that part of the constellation of God’s guidance in my life must include the careful exploration of my heart’s desires. God has put desires in me he longs to meet. My desire is an invitation to meet God. According to Psalm 37:4-6, there is a mutual relationship between delighting in God and my heart’s desires.

Delight yourself in the Lord;

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light

And your judgment as the noonday.

What if it’s true that spiritual discernment and guidance are inextricably linked with my heart’s desire? What might this mean?

First, it means we might need to reframe our understanding of the role of desire in our spiritual journey. We could befriend our desires and recognize that the path of guidance and discipleship to Jesus begins here. In fact, John’s Gospel records Jesus’ first words with this question to Andrew and another disciple, “What do you want?” Just as we increase in self-awareness when we pay attention to our design, so also does the sacred fire of our desire light the path before us and can lead us into the light of who we are meant to be and what we are meant to do. Julian of Norwich, a 14th-century Christian spiritual writer, suggests the key to hearing what is at the heart of the human soul is to listen to our deepest longings, for “the desire of the soul,” she says, “is the desire of God.”

Second, it means that we pay attention to our desires and at the same time, distinguish what our desires are trying to tell us. Our strongest desires are not always our deepest desires, and so once again, we must be willing to allow God to sort out which desires are life giving and which are not. We seek to discover which desires reflect our imago-dei and which ones are just needs, wants, or fatal attractions that seek to enslave us rather than free us into our true selves. Many of our desires have become infected or overlaid by confusions and distortions, but at the root of our being is the sacred longing for loving union with God through Christ. This is a critical part of our spiritual formation journey.

Once we have gotten in touch with our desire, we open it up before God, listening to what God has to say to us in the midst of our longings. We learn to relinquish our desire, entrusting it to God and wrestling down our fears or lack of trust. Then in the company of spiritual companions, we can notice the ways God is inviting us to live and make decisions that are congruent with our deepest desire and longing. We practice confession when our unhealthy desires have their way, allowing our hearts to move toward wholeness and purity.

What we are after is not freedom from desire, but freedom of desire, so that we are free to be and free to do what is ours to do in this life. If we aren’t willing to do this work, then our hearts will be driven by the whims and fancies of our ego rather than the true north of our deepest longings. Discerning God’s guidance requires the freedom to say; “Not my will but yours be done.” Until then, our heart will never be at rest until, as Augustine has said, it finds its rest in God. This is an ongoing work of transformation that provides a path to knowing God’s complete, acceptable will. (Romans 12:2).

God’s Guidance Through Our Disciplines

God’s guidance and formation do not just happen accidentally or haphazardly. Discovering our design and getting in touch with desire require a safe place to explore and notice what God is doing and saying. This happens when we become willing to rearrange our lives for what our heart most wants by engaging in spiritual practices and rhythms that provide a sanctuary for our soul to be able to discern both our heart and God’s heart in the matter.

Spiritual practices are a means of grace that help ground us into the reality of who God is and who we are. They help us to live from the sacred center of our design and our desire in two important ways. First, they help us stay anchored by giving us the necessary structure to say yes to the process of spiritual formation day in and day out. When we are committed to faithful spiritual practices, they make us available to God amidst the noise and busyness of our world to do the work only he can do. They provide a much needed respite for our soul from the weariness of ministry and life. In the quiet and familiar spaces like silence and solitude, we can recognize the whispers of God’s voice guiding us gently and slowly and restoring our soul.

Secondly, spiritual disciplines are the containers for which our deepest desires can be expressed and known. It brings intentionality to what we say we want. Spiritual director and author Ruth Haley Barton says every one of the Christian disciplines corresponds to every desire God has put in you.

Prayer: Reflects our desire to connect with the heart of God. It involves being present with, listening to, and sharing our lives with God and seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Prayer is also an invitation to intimacy, to being known, seen, and heard which is one of our deepest longings.

Scripture Meditation: Reflects our desire to hear from God and experience his guidance.

Celebration: Reflects our desire to enjoy God and His beautiful world, people, and purposes.

Solitude: Reflects our desire to step away from responsibilities and agendas to be alone with God.

Confession and Self-Examination: Reflect our desire to embrace practices that lead to transformation by surrendering our failings within God’s love and forgiveness.

Simplicity: Reflects our desire to focus on what is most important by simplifying and pruning our lives.

Submission: Reflects our desire to have God as the central source of our lives.

Silence: Reflects our desire to open ourselves to God and simply “be” by withdrawing from distractions and entanglements.

Fasting: Reflects our desire and hunger for God by relinquishing the comforts and attachments to the things of this world.

As you can see, these disciplines are a way of orienting ourselves to our good desires given by design from God. If we could see them this way, then we might be able to turn these disciplines from dreads into delights.

Any good journey begins with a “You Are Here” marker to determine where I am and where I want to go. Fortunately, God, in his infinite kindness and mercy, has not left us to figure it out all on our own. The clues to who we are meant to be and what we are meant to do are embedded deep within our soul’s core, through our design and desire. With careful attention to ourselves and to God through a rhythm of sacred practices, we can hear the voice of the Good Shepherd leading us into the paths of righteousness.

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A prayer for being known

( by Joe Steinke – inspired by this article )

Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee. St. Augustine

Light of lights, Jesus the Christ,

North Star in the constellation of the night sky,

my eyes behold you,

as you behold me,

in truth.

Name me as you know me,

beyond the noise,

call my true self in you to come home,

and let my life speak.

Beneath the lust of my wants,

above my ego’s elevation,

may a new dawn arise,

as my one true desire,

pure as the sun and hot as the day,

only for you.

Amen.

Perhaps you’d like to consider how a spiritual director might be a trusted guide who could accompany you on your journey of faith. If you’d like to have a conversation with us to explore what this might look like, please contact us and we will follow up with you. Contact us here: Soul of the Shepherd.